Day 95. . . Being home

Home is where the heart is.
My heart seems to be in a million places but one piece always stays in my hometown. It is where all my family live, we are a very close family always around at each other’s houses. I mainly come home now to see my little cousin Mia. She is only 10 months and has already started walking and climbing the stairs. It is amazing to see such a little thing walk she is adorable. What aches my heart is not being able to watch her grow up. I miss many months when I am in London and when I come back for the weekend she has changed so much.
Then I always see my aunts and uncle. The first lot are when I go and see Mia, the second lot are just around the corner. They are the elders of the family ever since my grandparents died when I was young they and my mum became the head of the family and I hold them very close to my heart. I always call them aunt and uncle before their names like aunty sue and uncle joe. I think it makes them seem extra special to me.
Yeah so my home time is always about family. I think I get home sick in london, a tad lonely. I am from a huge family and being so far away from the people who I love and they love me is hard. Every month I try and take a weekend back home just to get my family fix, and it was very much needed this weekend.



Day 81… Being a Worrier.

Hello I am Laura, I am 23 and I have come here tonight because …I am a Worrier.

worrierEver since I was a child I have been called a worrier. Yes that does not sound like the greatest start in life but I remember vividly my dance teacher and school teachers then my mum would always give me that name. I have always thought the worst in situations. I can worry so much I make myself ill and cry. When I worry I keep it all to myself, not wanting to show the people around me my weakness. The worries usually build up over time until it makes me burst, I end up not wanting to carry anymore worries or guilt or problems. In other people they can converse there problems through an argument, or very well versed words, they are brave enough to ask for help, to say that they are struggling. I being the person I am find it hard to talk my feelings especially when there is no fight in me left, so I just put up with everything until it gets too much . So I end up crying. Which may seem even more weak . I usually worry so much but keep it in so people do not see my weakness until it gets to a tipping point and I crash. Usually crying and needing support. I just need to remember that if I need help all I have to do is ask. I should not be afraid of failing. I will learn in time.

Tonight I think my anxiety is starting up again. I am getting all panicky over nothing. I mean Nothing… I am doing nothing and getting worried about it as I think I should be doing something. It is like when people say life does not come to you, your the one that has to go find it. I am currently panicking about that. Not like ‘That’ is anything. Maybe it is because I want to travel to America and work on something better maybe a film but I know I will never make it as I am not trying to get it. Then I just panic that I have such a dull life and I am going to get old and not have lived. (sorry about that rant but it makes me feel better when I get it off my chest). I need to stop it Laura!  It does not help that I am feeling rather alone lately. I know I have my best friend close by, but I am really missing my home and family. I think I am homesick. I feel isolated with no other person around. I just want a hug now and then.

Being a worrier can have its highs and lows. It can make me extra careful and thorough when working, which includes making thousands of lists, but when it gets out of control I do not like it.

I cant help it, it is just apart of how my brain works, all I need is your help and the kind words you give me when I have done something right. Just so I know I am on the correct path and I do not have to worry that I have done anything wrong.

Thank you for listening Blogsphere.



Day 65… Daily Prompt: Time After Time


Traditions are huge in my family, anything done at least twice on occasion becomes a tradition. For example my mums Shepard pie on the nights I came home from uni. My Tuesdays nights at my best friends house a cuppa and chat. Sleeping in till 10 on a Sunday and my dad wakes mum and I up with a cuppa on the bedside. The biggest however is my families Christmas tradition. The day is shared with my family.

Every year since before I was born my family has gathered either at my aunties, or my parents house at 11 on the dot to spend a few hours together exchanging gifts. It is the one day I really look forward too in the year. One time I see my whole family on one day and in one place. The day starts out with mum, dad and I opening our presets whilst we Skype my family over in New Zealand. Then at 11 we either go to my aunts or everyone comes to ours. After a few hours everyone but a select few disperse to their partners families to finish their day. The select few which include my aunty, uncle, and sometimes cousin join us for Christmas dinner. We sit around pull crackers and eat till we  pop. It is just the perfect day.

The Christmas just gone however, the cousins of the family decided that they wanted to do Christmas with their own families, being the youngest of the cousins and no family of my own I was not apart of this decision. When I found out my perfect day was not happening I got really upset and angry. How could they change a tradition that had been started by our grandparents. So this year mum dad and I took our time to open our presents. No one came around to exchange gifts. Thankfully my cousin invited us over to his house for dinner otherwise it would have been a lonely Christmas just the three of us. It was not the same. It seems to be a tradition that has after all these years has outgrown our family. I just hope one day I can start it again with my own family.




Day… 56 – On the Afternoon Tea search

Look what I found Thats my job done! Or it makes it twice as hard with even more choices.

So the first one this evening is – Thames Afternoon Tea Cruise,

As the name suggests you are taken upon a boat and given a tour down the Thames. This is a brilliant idea. I found it on Last minute. com. It is an hour and a half journey and whist you are on board you get a full afternoon tea cakes and all for £33 for TWO!!! this is an amazing deal. I just worry about the quality of cakes… Cake has to be good. It is a winner so far but it is only day two.


Secondly…  Afternoon Tea at Harrods for Two

Another Last Deal here. It is more elegant than the cruise, a little bit more expensive £58.00 but being in Harrods I expect good quality food. A whole day could be made of this trip looking around Harrods. The Tea takes about 2 hours which is a great amount of time. Maybe it is worth the splerge!

indigo tea stand

Lastly for the evenings pondering… Another big one, Marriott County Hall- South Bank

All I have  to say is look at the web page. It seems too good to be true. It has a grand view over looking the Thames, London eye and Parliament. The cakes just look amazing. With the deal I found it is £55 for two people. Which I think is brilliant for the quality we will be getting.  I just have a feeling this one might be booked up. It seems very high-classed.

Tomorrows plan is too look on groupon for those cheapies. But tonight has been a good night of Afternoon Tea Research!




Day 55… WARNING…Mother is visiting! HELP

In a around a weeks time my mother is making the journey from home to come and visit me, her latest txt reassures me of her reasons for her visit.

‘Look forward to seeing you in London, Where you live and work’

This may seem nothing to the normal eye, to mine however it is practically to see if I am coping, (lets just say that yesterdays blog did not happen). I will have to put on a brave face, hide the mold, and cover up the smell of damp clothing ( which is not helping the mold what so ever). She has never seen my house outside of a Skype chat, all in all I did not have to show her what did not have to been seen… Then take her to see the derelict warehouse that of which is the studio, I do not think it will be the weekend away she was hoping for.

However before she get’s hit in the face with the reality of my London conditions I will whisk her from the train and take her to afternoon tea. This is where I need some help. It is always something I have wanted to do myself, A lovely floral tea pot, triangle DE- crusted sandwiches and elegant cakes spring to mind. The cost might be a problem.


Firstly is Chesterfield Hotel Mayfair,

A top hotel boasting it’s fine tea making qualities. It is even apart of the Tea Guild, which I never knew exsisted until now. They pride themselves on and I quote “a prestigious and unique organisation that represents outlets dedicated to brewing and serving tea to the high standards desired by the United Kingdom Tea Council” ( ). It would be an elegent and superb way to start my mothers trip to London, Very posh even a bit too much for mum and I Just that…If it did not cost £34.50 per person… NEXT!!!!

Secondly The Tea Rooms,

Drawing me into their beautifully cute website The Tea Rooms is a little less posh which is perfect for mum and I. It has a simplistic menu with plenty of desserts. At £20 a head it is better than before. The only problem with this one is that it is situated a little further outside London than I would have liked. I would rather it be central. Too bad, but here is the link so you can gander at those cakes.

Thirdly and last for today… Soho’s Secret Tea Rooms,

I only found this one from ease dropping last week when my friend decided to take her mother out for afternoon tea. The website is simple but lures you in wanting to find out why it is so secret. Their website does not give away too much. Not even the price. I think I over heard it being £17.00 per person if it was that wow that is amazing. What I would of liked to have seen is more pictures of what you would get for the price. So this might be a maybe.

I am going to take this weeks blogging to researching Afternoon Tea. I will find somewhere my mum will appreciate before she is plunged into my house. Tomorrow I will look into more places. If you have any ideas please let me know.

To mull over this here is the UK Tea Councils webpage…Well I never!!!



Day 41 ?Good Fences?

Having a bit of writers block, thank goodness there is a blog called Daily Prompt! This one is from a few days ago and really takes my interest.


Who are your neighbors? Are you friends with them, barely say hi, or avoid them altogether? Tell us a story — real or invented — about the people on the other side of your wall (or street, or farm, or… you get the point).

I live in London so do you really think I know my neighbours? All I know is that the people on one side get up early and slam the front door when they go out to work. The other side I don’t hear or see. It is quite sad. On the other hand, the house that I really call home, back up north in a small town called Carnforth, is where neighbors are everything. You know everything about next door, three doors down and even around the corner. I miss that.

My family house sits on a quiet estate, on the left a couple in their 70s who do not look their age. Our house bellows over their little bungalow and it’s garden is their gem. When they go away they entrust us to look after the garden, we collect their post and put it in to a neat pile on the stairs.When they return, we are given gifts for caring for their home, usually biscuits or cake. We both grow veg in ours gardens and give to ours neighbors generously.

Now the other side, the right side, holds a lot of memories and friends. Firstly the people who used to live in that house years ago. The Simons, the three young brothers ran riot in that house, and circles around me. We would have so much fun, playing for hours, our favorite summer game was to run through the water from the hosepipe. One of the boys, Nathan was not just my neighbor, he was my classmate and really good friend.  Then suddenly he got really ill, the playing stopped and they moved across the street. In a few months I lost my neighbor and my friend. He was too young to die. I kept going around to my old neighbors and played with Nathans brothers, we sang Elvis songs and played UNO and Kirby till it went dark. A house never stays empty for long, we gain a new neighbor, this one an elderish lady and her adult daughter. Norma was a ex-teahcer, this was the best thing ever… I would go around more than twice a week to get help with my homework, we would bake cakes for each other, my dad mowed their lawn. Her daughter Judith, is the kindest person you would ever know. They are both like family. We help each other, look after one another. A few years ago Norma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s it is strange to watch someone you went to help for as a child become a child herself, so distant and fragile. I do not think she would recognize me today. However after all these years she still knows my dad. I don’t think anyone has neighbors like ours, they are the best kind. It would be amazing to find some like them in London, someone I could trust , people we could call family.

I don’t think I have portrayed my story well, I could go so deep into why neighbours are important. They are the security of the street, they are there when you need them. And that’s just from one house.




Day 14…Daily Prompt: Singular Sensation

If you could have a guarantee that one, specific person was reading your blog, who would you want that person to be?

The person who I would want to see my blog is Shaycarl… You  know the Shaytards Shaycarl.


Because watching his Vlogs everyday makes me happy and originally I did want to create a daily Vlog however I just did not like myself on camera, my life is not that interesting and I don’t know how he does it. I really respect him and his  family, they are good people and they make great interesting Vlogs. After thinking about his Vlogs I thought maybe I could just do a Blog instead. I would want him to see that he has inspired me to do something different in my life, to stick to something that challenges me and make him feel proud.

What do you want to say to them?

So if you are out there Shay and family, thank you for being inspirational in my life.



Day 2!

Tie up 2nd and 3rd with a little red bow

Tie up 2nd and 3rd with a little red bow

Dear Diary,

I said I would talk about my ambitions for this year. I usually go too far and have dreams that I will never reach. I am going to take a leaf from last year resolution, where I told myself just to keep working in my industry and get contacts. I did it and now love my job. Soooo this year I am technically stepping it up a bar. Here is my list of things I would like to achieve.

          Write  a blog … This is self-explanatory

          Go to America…I just have that craving, something is pulling me out there and I want to find out what it is.

          Write more of my book… I have an epic idea; however I just can’t seem to jot it down.

          Go to NZ… To see my family, ideally I would love to go for Christmas.

          Spend new year somewhere other than my hometown

          Work out where I want to go next in my job… this could last a lifetime.

          Figure out why I feel lost… Maybe the above will help this one out, maybe the deal breaker of the year.

All bar one I feel I am able to do these challenges in a year; It would be great not to feel lost or have to feel I need a purpose, but something is missing. Last year I worked and worked I don’t think I had a proper weekend, so this year I am going to take the time to care for the part of me that feels lost. WOW that’s a lot of feelings in there!

P.s I thought that I would add that because my journal does not have enough days for the whole year, I am splitting the pages. I have decided that I will only post what I write when I have completed both sides. I could not help putting a little picture up tho 🙂


Love L