159 SIngle and ready to …. Drown my sorrows.

This week has been a tough week. We spent Monday in the pub. Now that is a way to start the week. But in the terms of relationships it has been tiring.

I am now officially Single after 4 1/2 years and in a relationship with freedom. Well that is what I want at least. I took a train on Saturday to York and came back three hours later Single but still carrying a horrid weight upon my heart. It was a parting of two people that loved each other but have started living two separate lives. I was not happy. So here I am just over 24 hours into being single feeling sick, not hungry and with a heavy heart.

What do i do next. I feel like the lonely wanderer.  I heard it gets worse before I start to feel better… Not looking forwards to that 😦

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147 Suffering from a heavy heart

I do not know what to do with my heart. It is weighing me down I feel ruthless and evil. How could I do this to him he has only ever been nice. There are the few occasions where we have argued but he never did anything bad. He knows me inside and out and I don’t think I could let another know me this well. He has let me live my life but unhappiness has crept upon me. I blame the London life, my grown up self has begun and he has been left behind. I do not see him in months and our relationship is over a phone. I know people can hang on but after four years and another two to follow I have the feeling of giving it a break giving myself some slight freedom which at this point is not freedom but a heavy chain. It has not been finalised but how can we go back to what we were after I have brought up all this feeling and thought. The end is near and I do not know if it is the right decision. Love is making me sick. Only a few weeks and we shall see.

Night

DAY 100 . . . Whoop

I cannot believe I have blogged for 100 days. I never knew how long that felt until now. The amount of emotions that I have been through since the start of the year is staggering. I am usually a person who gives up on things but I am determined to keep this diary up. However my paperback diary has lagged behind. My blog was never about how many subscribers I could get, but for those of you who do follow me and maybe skim my terrible spelt writing, I have to thank you. My blog is where I have found a place for my thoughts so I do not have to keep them in and drive myself crazy. SO thank you for reading my blabbing.

It was because of this blog that I went to Rome,

I figured out where to take my mum for her special day

I got to express my anxiety so it did not feel as big as I imagined it.

This blog is helping me so much, making me feel lighter, to get a lot off my chest, that I would not be able to speak out loud.

I found that a blog is like a quite individuals voice. And I have only just begun to shout.

MANY+THANKS

And now onto today! A lovely wake up time of 4.30 this morning. NOT. I was at the studio for 5.15 picking the equipment up. It was a great day in the end. The weather was perfect, I have caught the sun, my cheeks are burning :(. The lesson for the day was to make sure the camera guys get sun lotion on. They are the ones out all day in the sun and should get protected. Camera guys are a strange species, hm that could be a blog title. I think for the future blogs I might not put ‘Day 101 . . .’ and so on. Maybe just the number in the heading???

Anyway I got home and because the weather makes me happy I decided to make a cake 🙂

Cake makes everyone happy.

Night and thank you again, here is to another 100 days!

Day 67. . . Mum comes to visit

What a wonderful day, after all my time the other week stressing and researching many options for the perfect afternoon tea we finally made it to St Ermins Hotel. I use finally loosely, mum got off the train at 12.30 the reservation was for 13.30. That gave me an hour to distract my mother without giving away the surprise. So we walked from Embankment, saying we would get on the tube at St James. Oh the distractions on the way… Big Ben, the London eye, the war memorial with granddads name on and Westminster of course. All the time I was trying to hurry her along without braking. Until we got to the Caxton Grill and turned the corner to the hotel when I gave in and said I had booked in for lunch…. She was pleasantly shocked. Soooo the verdict, after my mothers hysterical surprised cry, she never expected to be wined and dined.

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I cannot fault the service, from entering the front of house and being welcomed into the hotel, shown to the tea room, our coats being taken before we were seated. To the waitresses being polite and explaining to us how the afternoon tea worked and what food was on the lavish cake stand.

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We were given a choice of freshly baked scones, fresh cream and jam. I usually do not like the above but I fell for these, the scones were still warm the cream was not sickly and for a person who really does not like jam … Well it vanished and well received. But that’s not all, the first thing that the waitresses came out with was peach Bellinis and oh wow it went to my head. Just don’t fill up yet… More to come.

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We got to pick out our own tea. Mum and I don’t really like fancy tea, so we decided to go for the breakfast tea which we later found out was made by the head chef and Wow it was perfect . . . And that is saying something coming from two northerners ha! So tea and champagne 🙂 not just that they were both unlimited yes as much as you can drink whoop.

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Then oh then the spectacular begins, the cake stand is brought to the table. It looks amazing. Little sandwiches all perfectly presented, my favorite was the prawn. You would not believe the flavors in these little fingers of sandwich. All on different types of bread too.

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After you have eaten the warm scones, and finger sandwiches you have to leave room for the most amazing little desserts. Five fine looking deserts stand between you and afternoon tea perfection. Take it slow though, I was stuffed after the first two. So mum and I had a tea brake, got another glass of champagne before we tucked into the last few sweets. We over stayed out time slot of 1hour 30mins, and stayed for nearly 3 hours. They did not complain or move us on. We could have freely moved to another room and kept drinking the champagne, but I do think you need more than the allotted time to take it all in. It’s a grand occasion and I am extremely happy about my choice.

Cheers!

Cheers!

Yes it was £34 each but it was well worth every penny and more. Altogether I paid £80, it did come to £76ish with the 12% service charge added, they did come to give me change but I was so impressed by the whole event that I just let them keep it. I recommend St Ermins Hotel for any occasion, it is great for mothers day, or just a day out with a friend. My mum had a fabulous day, she made me take lots of photographs to show everyone at home her day. I would go back again. Could not fault it. Really made my mums visit extra special.

Night,

L

Day 55… WARNING…Mother is visiting! HELP

In a around a weeks time my mother is making the journey from home to come and visit me, her latest txt reassures me of her reasons for her visit.

‘Look forward to seeing you in London, Where you live and work’

This may seem nothing to the normal eye, to mine however it is practically to see if I am coping, (lets just say that yesterdays blog did not happen). I will have to put on a brave face, hide the mold, and cover up the smell of damp clothing ( which is not helping the mold what so ever). She has never seen my house outside of a Skype chat, all in all I did not have to show her what did not have to been seen… Then take her to see the derelict warehouse that of which is the studio, I do not think it will be the weekend away she was hoping for.

However before she get’s hit in the face with the reality of my London conditions I will whisk her from the train and take her to afternoon tea. This is where I need some help. It is always something I have wanted to do myself, A lovely floral tea pot, triangle DE- crusted sandwiches and elegant cakes spring to mind. The cost might be a problem.

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Firstly is Chesterfield Hotel Mayfair,


A top hotel boasting it’s fine tea making qualities. It is even apart of the Tea Guild, which I never knew exsisted until now. They pride themselves on and I quote “a prestigious and unique organisation that represents outlets dedicated to brewing and serving tea to the high standards desired by the United Kingdom Tea Council” ( http://www.chesterfieldmayfair.com/bar-and-dining/afternoon-tea ). It would be an elegent and superb way to start my mothers trip to London, Very posh even a bit too much for mum and I Just that…If it did not cost £34.50 per person… NEXT!!!!

Secondly The Tea Rooms,

Drawing me into their beautifully cute website The Tea Rooms is a little less posh which is perfect for mum and I. It has a simplistic menu with plenty of desserts. At £20 a head it is better than before. The only problem with this one is that it is situated a little further outside London than I would have liked. I would rather it be central. Too bad, but here is the link so you can gander at those cakes. http://www.thetearooms.org/

Thirdly and last for today… Soho’s Secret Tea Rooms,

I only found this one from ease dropping last week when my friend decided to take her mother out for afternoon tea. The website is simple but lures you in wanting to find out why it is so secret. Their website http://www.sohossecrettearoom.co.uk/ does not give away too much. Not even the price. I think I over heard it being £17.00 per person if it was that wow that is amazing. What I would of liked to have seen is more pictures of what you would get for the price. So this might be a maybe.

I am going to take this weeks blogging to researching Afternoon Tea. I will find somewhere my mum will appreciate before she is plunged into my house. Tomorrow I will look into more places. If you have any ideas please let me know.

To mull over this here is the UK Tea Councils webpage…Well I never!!! http://www.tea.co.uk/teaguild

Night,

L

Day 45 short but sweet valentines day.

It is only a short blog today as i have still not been home and i am currently on the bus back now. let me firstly wish you all a happy valentines day how ever and who ever you want to spend it with. My night was lovely, spent it with my boyfriend, his brother and his girlfriend. We ate Mexican, had cake, watched Police Academy and spent it with lovely people.
Promise a better blog tomorrow.
Night