To be truthful I am a person who is likely to quite something quite easily if it wasn’t from something little that always keeps me attached and trudging along. I am in an industry that has very short contracts I am only 23 and have had over 10 different jobs. So I have never had the chance to contemplate leaving… That was until the other day… I have been in the same job now for 6 months that is long for me, my longest job yet ( other than the supermarket but that’s another story) . It got really tough last week, to the point that I was wanting to quit. I felt like I was not good enough for the role. That I was not living up to the expectations of the fellow crew. But finally I have made up my mind I will stay till the end of this series, for the next series however I am unsure. I do like change and another 6 months might brake me. The pros however … I would still have a job, It would look better on my CV, I would get better at camera assisting. Cons… Studio is moving over an hour away from where I live, therefore more expensive to travel, I don’t want to get stuck in entertainment I want to spread my wings first. SO do I quit a secure job to follow my dreams or will I find another easier way into my dream after a few more months of learning.
I could go into so much more detail… yet it is time to sleep…
Well I have felt really stressed and pressured today, my job on paper is tech runner in real life it has turned out to be full on camera assistant!. Firstly that is very kind, Secondly I learn alot, Last and most of all I AM NOT A CAMERA ASSISTANT JUST YET! Give me a few years… I can only learn and do so much. As I was saying not only have I become this person because our camera assistants left, I am also training another tech runner. First day of filming a new series and I feel drowned. I do know the process and I will get into the swing of it but it comes a shock that they really think I am a camera assistant even though I am only a tech runner. I am doing the best I can, with what I know. I have great people around me who I can ask for advise and who have been in my position before. I think it is just the first day of series jitters… Also had to pack up for a location shoot tomorrow. ( I actually love location shoots). I guess everyone takes this step at some point. I was nearly on the brink of tears but hey! It just hit me in the face today. Tomorrow I get back on my feet and do it better.
cleaning out the tech room before the next production starts and i find this. it has blown my mind. great idea. ha it is going to be one of those days i think. oh the little things.